Social networks present new relationship issues
Natalie Sehn Weber
Posted on: 7/14/10 Section: News
Valerie Wardlaw, a psychological intern at PCC, is worried about students. She sees a rising number of them being deeply affected by impersonal communication of something very personal.
Cold social networking communication is replacing the once traditional phone call or face-to-face conversation: "I don't love you anymore."
"I was noticing a trend among some of the students that their relationships were being ended on Facebook and, as you can imagine, that's extremely distressing," Wardlaw said.
Wardlaw estimated that roughly 30 percent of the students she consults came to her after discovering their love relationship had ended through texting, Facebook Twitter or MySpace.
She said students often found out when their boyfriends or girlfriends changed their relationship status on his or her Facebook account to "Single," or they suddenly blocked access to their account without warning.
"It's a very cowardly act," said Wardlaw.
According to PCC student Tiffanie Lau, 19, her boyfriend broke up with her through a single text message.
"I'd been going out with this guy for about two years. We'd been arguing a lot through emails, messages, on Facebook, MySpace and the telephone," said Lau.
After an argument, her boyfriend texted to her, "'It's over. I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore,'" Lau said.
"And I was, like, are you serious? You couldn't tell to me in person or call me?" said Lau. "Just texting, it just shows that he didn't give a s***."
"When [communication] is impersonal, it's easy for the message to get distorted," said Wardlaw. "[We don't know] what their intent was because we can't see their expression, we can't hear the inflection in their voice, so we assume a whole lot of things that may not be true."
For student Michael Buchanan, 20, MySpace played a dominant role in ending a relationship.
"It sucked," said Buchanan. "MySpace is bad for relationships,"
Cold social networking communication is replacing the once traditional phone call or face-to-face conversation: "I don't love you anymore."
"I was noticing a trend among some of the students that their relationships were being ended on Facebook and, as you can imagine, that's extremely distressing," Wardlaw said.
Wardlaw estimated that roughly 30 percent of the students she consults came to her after discovering their love relationship had ended through texting, Facebook Twitter or MySpace.
She said students often found out when their boyfriends or girlfriends changed their relationship status on his or her Facebook account to "Single," or they suddenly blocked access to their account without warning.
"It's a very cowardly act," said Wardlaw.
According to PCC student Tiffanie Lau, 19, her boyfriend broke up with her through a single text message.
"I'd been going out with this guy for about two years. We'd been arguing a lot through emails, messages, on Facebook, MySpace and the telephone," said Lau.
After an argument, her boyfriend texted to her, "'It's over. I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore,'" Lau said.
"And I was, like, are you serious? You couldn't tell to me in person or call me?" said Lau. "Just texting, it just shows that he didn't give a s***."
"When [communication] is impersonal, it's easy for the message to get distorted," said Wardlaw. "[We don't know] what their intent was because we can't see their expression, we can't hear the inflection in their voice, so we assume a whole lot of things that may not be true."
For student Michael Buchanan, 20, MySpace played a dominant role in ending a relationship.
"It sucked," said Buchanan. "MySpace is bad for relationships,"
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